We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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