He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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