I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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