go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
