So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Randomize
