I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
