Got a toothbrush?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs speak an international language.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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