I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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