They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize