During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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