Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
