You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
