Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
