Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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