Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
