It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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