peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just threw up on my dentist
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
