Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize