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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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