it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
