Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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