Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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