she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
