I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
