Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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