Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
