You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
So. Much. Porn.
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