Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize