Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Randomize
