i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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