3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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