I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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