I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
