He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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