Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
