i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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