Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
