Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Dignity is for republicans.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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