i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
