if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
