I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
