the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
