your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
