would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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