Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
