You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
