i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
only if we run a train.
done.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize