Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize