There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
