The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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