It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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