Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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