I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
