i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
