oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
