Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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