Fuck appropriateness.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
