life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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