Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
