She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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