Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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