I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
