Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
