Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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